Papermind
by thylas
Summary: Lucy is tired of doing it again and again, but Fairy Tail is everything to her. She won't let them down. [time-loop. / time-travel. / reincarnation. Natsu x Lucy]
1. Chapter 1: lostmind

Hello everyone. Thanks for coming here, in hopes you like it.

First fan fiction here. Not sure if this is any good. (My friends said it's good, so… Here I am.)

I tried to write this in a way that could look like Lucy has not time-travelled and instead just know a lot of things (and is wiser than most people). As chapters go on, it will become more obvious than she knows more than she let on. I could have not said that Lucy time-travelled, but then people would not get interested and say things like: "Lucy's too OOC for me dislike hihihihi heeee." Or maybe not; maybe I'm just imagining things, dunno.

I guess Lucy is a little too BAMF, but, well, she _did_ have the time to train.

Sorry for the long(?) Author's Note, and sorry for my (horrible) English.

Please review, follow, favorite, or just come again if you enjoy this chapter. Feedback would be nice.

* * *

time-loop. / time-travel. / reincarnation.

* * *

 **Papermind**

* * *

 **Chapter one:**  
 **Lostmind**

* * *

Natsu grumbles, getting up from his laid down position. Happy is at his side and watches him. He is a little shocked that those girls have attacked him without any reason, but Natsu doesn't give much thought to it. He doesn't really care about them; it's not like their kicks really hurt. Right now, he's just disappointed that this Salamander-guy isn't Igneel. This already happened before, and he's used to this. He'll just have to beat up the one who gave him this false information.

He doesn't bother to dust his clothes, as he knows that at the end of the day they will be dirty no matter what. He takes some seconds to think, and grins at his friend. "Looks like there's nothing here, Happy." Happy agrees with his usual _aye_. Natsu's stomach rumbles and Happy copies him. "Let's get something to eat!"

They are about to walk away when a voice stops them. "Hey guys," they turn around. There's a girl with blonde hair and big chocolate eyes. "Thank you for helping me out before." They look at each other, uncomprehending the meaning of her words. She seems to realize, because she explains. "That guy before, he had a charm on his rings. It made me follow and adore him unwillingly." She pauses, hears Natsu's stomach, and smiles. "Do you want to have lunch? My treat."

Natsu finds in himself that he quite likes this girl.

"You're not from here, are you?" she asks once they're at the restaurant. Their orders come before she can even finish her sentence. Natsu and Happy are too busy eating to answer; she doesn't seem to mind. "Why did you come here, then? Are you just travelling around or are you searching for something?" She takes a look at Natsu's shoulder. "Are you on a mission?" It looks very much like an interrogatory.

Finally, Happy answers. "We're searching for Salamander," he says simply, as if the answer is obvious. The girl nods pensively.

"Are you talking about the mage or the dragon?" Natsu almost chokes on his meat. He stops eating and stares up at her with wide, round eyes. He's about to ask her about it when she continues. "Since you are a member of Fairy Tail," here she looks at his shoulder again, "I'm guessing you're not talking about the mage."

"Do you know anything about Igneel?" She looks at his eyes, not looking surprised at his lack of patience.

She looks down at her hands, flexing them and looking at the way her blood rushed to some parts while the rest became white. "I don't know much about Igneel." Her hands clench, and she gains a guilty look. "I… I know when most of the dragons disappeared – on the 7th July 777. And I know some of the other Dragon Slayers. I– I'm not really sure. It's been a long time since I've read about it. Maybe I will remember some things about it later on." She looks up, sees their gazes on her, and closes her eyes in a painful-looking way. "Sorry, I'm not of much help, am I?"

Natsu doesn't know how to respond to her guiltiness, so he doesn't address it. "Other Dragon Slayers? What do you mean by that?" he asks. Happy looks as confused as him, momentarily stopping in his eating – it's only one fish, but for Happy it's a true feast.

"Well, you aren't the only one who was raised by a dragon." She takes a moment to look at their incredulous stares, and smiles. "I can't say the exact number, but there is a lot. Not thousands, of course." She gets up, ready to leave as they have finished eating. She has already paid for the meal.

Natsu and Happy – both a little dazed from meeting someone who knows Igneel – thank her, and watch her leave. They don't realize they have let precious information slip through their fingers until it's too late.

* * *

Natsu hears about the man pretending to be part of Fairy Tail while he's searching for the girl – he has only realized now that he doesn't know her name. Of course, he's angry that someone is using Fairy Tail's name like that – he knows that no one from his guild is here except for him and Happy – and he searches for the boat the people are talking about. He crashes in, Happy following him closely.

He looks up, and pauses as he sees the girl. His eyes widen, and he opens his mouth to talk to her… when he realizes he's on a _boat_ ; a transport. He gags and falls down. Faintly, he hears jeers and mocking laughs, but he's too busy containing his vomit to retort back.

After that, there's a blur of color, and the next thing he knows, he's in front of Happy, who's looking at something at their side. He can smell water nearby, so he looks around, and is surprised to find the beach at his feet. He looks at Happy again, gets confused about his shocked face and looks at the side he's turned to.

Natsu almost stops breathing.

The girl is here. Her blond hair is flowing in a tempest that reminds Natsu of his fire – unpredictable and wild. There's a hurricane around her, the water not even touching her. Her eyes are glaring at something – or someone – that Natsu can't see. It looks like the girl has changed her clothes while Natsu was looking for her, as now, she doesn't have a simple shirt and skirt anymore, but a blue dress. The most shocking thing is that the water is attacking that something, as if the girl is directing it. Natsu knows that water magic exists, but it's the first time he ever sees it.

A second pass, multiple cries of pain echo and Natsu blinks.

The water stops, the girl relaxes and Natsu gets up from his half-crouched position. She turns her head to look at him and smiles – in relief? –; she runs to him. "Hello again, Mr. Fairy," she greets. Natsu doesn't know why she calls him a fairy, but he's too busy getting excited over her powers.

"Show me again!" he asks with wide eyes and a large grin. Happy joins him in his excitement, pleading along him to make her show her magic again. "Show us!"

She laughs sheepishly, scratching the back of her head. "I would, but the magic council's army is coming and…" she trails off, looking behind her in worry as they begin to hear some soldier shout. "It seems like I've got to go." She turns around, and without waiting for him, runs away. "I'm sure we'll meet again!" She waves at them.

Natsu and Happy both watch her go again, unable to move.

They still don't know her name.

* * *

"I'm back!"

Mirajane smiles, glancing up in time to see the guild's door hit the wall violently. Natsu and Happy are back. She doesn't have the time to greet them, as Makao beats her to it. "So Natsu, did you find anything?"

Natsu's smile drops. He's not sulking, but he's not smiling anymore. "Ugh…" he mumbles, and Happy glances at him from his side. "It wasn't Igneel," Happy says, when he sees that his partner won't answer. "But we found someone who knew things about dragons!" His voice is jolly and bright.

"Oh really?" Mirajane walks to them, as most of the guild turns their eyes on them. "And what did that person tell you?" After taking a look around, noticing that there wasn't any stranger, she adds, "Where are them?"

"Aye!" Once again, only Happy answers. "She said that there were other dragon slayers!" The information sends the guild in a silence; eyes widen and limbs freeze in their movements. "She knew that Igneel disappeared on the 7th Ju-something 777 – along with the other dragons." The others are still too shocked to react. "We didn't get her to tell us more." Before anyone can ask why, he continues. "The magic council arrived after she beat up some bandits."

Deciding he was better off not knowing about what had happened, Makao doesn't voice the question dying on his lips. He grins and takes a sip of his sake. "Well with the luck the two of you have, you'll probably meet her again soon!" Natsu perks up, and after some seconds of thinking(?), smiles.

"Yeah!" Both exclaim.

Suddenly, Natsu's eyes become starry. "She had amazing powers too!" Happy nods frantically, his eyes gaining the same stars of excitement. "It was like: whoosh! Waa! And swoosh!" Natsu mimes the movements he remembers, and Happy copies him.

Laughter resonates through the guild, happily making fun of the duo's stupid dance-like moves.

* * *

"Excuse me, miss." Levy turns around, sensing that the person is addressing her. "Could you please tell me where the Fairy Tail guild is?" Levy blinks and dazedly nods in agreement. The stranger smiles in relief, her features softening as her face brightens up. "Thank you very much."

Levy takes a moment to process what has just happened – what she has agreed to do –, and finally does. "O-of course, it's nothing." She gives an uneasy laugh, and begins leading the girl to the guild.

As they're walking toward the guild, Levy wonders if she should start a conversation. She doesn't, in fear that the stranger ignores her.

"Oh," she glances up as the stranger's voice suddenly rises again. "I forgot to tell you, but the name's Lucy." Lucy smiles – and Levy feels something slither through her body, it's warm and welcoming. She doesn't know why, but she feels a certain familiarity in the foreign girl's company; it's a pleasant feeling.

"I'm Levy." She returns the smile. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she can feel that a new, soon-to-be strong bond has formed – she ignores it for the moment. "So, why are you here Lucy?"

"Oh, I'm searching for someone." She gains a faraway look, and she falters in her steps. "I think his name was…" There is a long pause. Levy isn't sure if Lucy is trying to remember or if it's just to put emphasis on the name. "Natsu." Lucy's voice as she says the name is soft, barely a whisper. There are so many emotions in this simple name that Levy almost stops breathing.

"Natsu?" she echoes. She blinks and nods. "I never thought anyone would be searching for him – well, except for the magic council." Lucy laughs gently at her side.

Soon, they arrive. Levy hesitates in telling Lucy about the – almost – violent behavior of her comrades, but the confident the blond has keeps her from saying anything (the tiredness in her eyes throws her off – and she is afraid for her health, as she is sure it isn't good to forgo sleep –, but she tries to ignore it). Levy opens the door, surprised in seeing that no fight broke out while she was gone – to be honest it's almost a miracle.

"Hey Levy," Droy greets. Jett is already at his side, greeting her too. "You didn't take long." Levy nods, remembering that she had walked out to go to the library.

Lucy enters after her, her light steps stopping the commotion that had gradually began forming as Levy entered. Everyone's eyes are on her, but she still looks confident. Her own eyes roam around the room, and she smiles as soon as they fall on Natsu and Happy.

"Hey guys," she greets, walking toward them as if she doesn't see the faces turning to follow her every move. Natsu and Happy's faces are frozen in disbelief. "I was searching for you two."

Natsu's mouth open, but it takes a few seconds for sound to finally come out. "You're…"

Lucy's lips curl into a gentle smile.

"Nice to see you again."


	2. Chapter 2: foreignmind

Hello everyone. Nice to see you again. :)

I didn't expect so much feedback! (Even if it isn't _that_ much…) I'm glad some people actually liked it. I'm just _so_ happy!

The change between present tense and past tense is to show when I'm talking about the past or the present (yeah, I know that said like that, it sounds a little obvious). As in, when Lucy remembers what has happened before, it will be written in the past tense, while when it is _that_ time (the one that everyone else remembers), it will be in present tense. Not sure if I explained that well. :/

I love the idea of time loop. I love it, because there are _so_ many things that can happen; especially with the butterfly effect. Also, I think that people would just become _insane_ because of this. As someone said; knowing the future will make a person insane. (Can't remember the exact words, of course.)

Natsu is so cuuuuute! (*/v/*) He looks like a freaking bunny/squirrel (kyaaa!)…

Sorry for the long author's note. I know that not a lot of people read ANs, but I can't help but write it.

Review, favorite, follow, or just come back again if you enjoy. Feedback would be nice though.

* * *

time-loop. / time-travel. / reincarnation.

* * *

 **Papermind**

* * *

 **Chapter two:  
Foreignmind**

* * *

"How did you find us?" Happy asks as soon as the three of them are seated. Mirajane has kindly given the stranger a hot chocolate.

"Well," she looks up from her cup, staring into their eyes. "I knew that you were part of Fairy Tail – thanks to your mark. From that, it wasn't hard to find you. Oh, and before you ask, my name is Lucy."

Levy, in hearing range, twitches as she realizes that Lucy doesn't mention the fact that she _knew_ Natsu's name.

Suddenly, Natsu stands up and pushes his face in front of Lucy's. A smile is stretching his lips, and he is radiating pure happiness. "You _have_ to join Fairy Tail!" he exclaims loudly, drawing many stares on him.

Lucy seems to freeze in her spot, only for a split second, before her body relaxes again. Not many people notice, but those who do narrow their eyes in concern. "Fairy Tail?" Her voice is strangely weaker than it was earlier, and her smile has faltered a little. "Why are you asking me?" Her brown eyes are almost demanding, but Natsu doesn't seem to care about it.

"Because! You're awesome!" Happy nods frantically at Natsu's side. "So, will you? Will you?" His eyes have grown wide in excitement, and his face is still (too) close to Lucy's.

The blond haired teen laughs, and nods. "Well, if your master is fine with me joining, I will join." The heaviness in her gaze has disappeared, even if some traces are still visible on her young visage.

"Yay!" Natsu jumps up in joy, grinning widely. Natsu takes a deep breath, and shouts, "Gramps!" as he throws his head back.

Immediately, an old, little man comes out of a room from upstairs. He jumps on the fence, looking down at his _children_. "What is it, Natsu?" he asks, jumping down again. "Did you cause trouble again?"

Natsu shakes his head rapidly. Before anyone can say anything, he explains the man everything, from Lucy's strange powers to her (seemingly) amazing knowledge on dragons. (Though, to be honest, what she said to him about dragons wasn't that much, she doesn't say anything to correct him.)

"I see," Makarov says, nodding to himself. He turns to Lucy, a serious look in his eyes. "Miss, could you come to my office for some minutes. There is something we need to discuss." Lucy's eyes gleam from under her blond bangs, and she nods. The two are away in Makarov's office before anyone can say anything.

* * *

"Who are you and why are your magic reserves so big?" Makarov's voice is cold. He is obviously worried about his guild's safety.

Lucy seems to understand, as a small smile flashes on her lips. "My name is Heartfilia Lucy. I'm a celestial mage – even as I can also use other magic." Magic flares up in her hands, showing itself in the form of fire and ice and wind. Amusement dances in her eyes for a moment as Makarov's jaw drops. "I have trained my magic since I was very little, so my magic reserves have had the time to grow and grow." She smiles carelessly. "Does it bother you?"

Makarov grows silent for a little while, before he looks up at Lucy. "It wouldn't bother me, if you weren't radiating black magic as you walk." His face is solemn once again.

Lucy only smiles. "I see, you noticed." She sits down. "I should have expected that. Before you ask, I don't use dark magic, and I hope I never have to use it." She smiles painfully at Makarov – making him guilty of asking. "The darkness you can sense, it's from my curse."

There's a beat of shocked silence.

"Curse? How…"

She chuckles. "I won't tell you what it does – I don't trust you enough, yet – but I can tell you that it won't bother you or anyone else. In fact, it won't show up again." She gets a pensive look. "I guess I could try to hide the darkness it radiates; but then, I would need your help. If it's not too much to ask, of course."

Makarov takes a moment to think, and nods. "I'll help you," he stares at her relieved face for a while, before adding, "but only if you become a member of Fairy Tail." His voice has softened, and he doesn't do anything to hide his growing fondness to the blonde.

He can't explain why, but he feels that Lucy is one of his numerous children – just as Natsu or Mirajane or even Erza are.

* * *

Lucy stares at the tattoo on her hand. Mirajane keeps her eyes on her; it feels like something important is happening, something that her mind can't bear imagining the consequences. It's not something bad, it's not particularly good either; it's just… there.

"Lucy?" she calls quietly.

The blonde looks up. Her gaze still has that faraway look; she's not really looking at Mirajane. Finally, she nods. "Thank you Mirajane." Mirajane smiles lightly, and returns to her bar.

"Luigi," Natsu calls her, even though he knows that her name is Lucy.

She doesn't get angry or irritated, as he had thought she would. She giggles, glances at him, and walked to his table. "It's Lucy, Lu-cy." He repeats after her, and she giggles again. "Well, I guess Luce is good too." She sits down next to him. "Did you need anything?"

"Yeah!" He grins. "Let's fight!" he exclaims, almost shaking in anticipation.

Lucy chuckles, hiding her lips behind her hand. "Maybe one day, but not for now." She thanks Mirajane as the woman hands her a mug. "Hey, how about we form a team together? – just the three of us."

(The fact that she includes Happy warms up the cat's heart.)

They both agree instantly with a loud _Yes!_ ; being with Lucy just feels right.

* * *

 _ **I**_ t had begun with the Grand Tournament in Crocus. When her future self had died, she had received all of her memories. She had not talked about it aloud, afraid of her own mind.

From those memories, she had seen darkness, hopelessness and death. The deaths of her loved ones, of her enemies and of strangers; she couldn't stand it. She had tried to forget what she had seen, what she had heard, and what she had felt. She had tried to forget the tears of despair she had shed at Natsu's death, the hope of travelling through time, and the happiness of dying for her loved ones.

She tried to forget, to concentrate on what she knew was real, what she knew awaited her; but she couldn't. Her mind kept torturing her, giving images of dead friends and devastated world when she was alone in the silence. She couldn't rest, she couldn't sleep and – sometimes – she couldn't breathe.

Lucy felt like she was slowly dying.

She often wondered, _how did this happen? and why?_ but she never managed to find an answer. It didn't make sense. Why couldn't they be happy with peace? Why did they need war? And most importantly, why did she remember all that?

With no answer, she pushed her worries to the back of her mind.  
(She later admitted that she shouldn't have done that.)

So when the "war" had started, her future self's memories of the war had come back rushing. Even if she was worried about it, she never said anything to anyone; she knew that it would only help to distract her _family_ from the most important thing – the "war."

It was only as she watched her _family_ , her _friends_ , her _everything_ , die before her eyes – just as the future Lucy had seen – that she realized.

It hadn't been the Eclipse Gate. It hadn't been its power, it had been hers. Lucy had travelled back in time without the help of the Eclipse Gate – even if she had been helped by someone else. Lucy could travel through time, even if it was at the price of a great sacrifice.

The future Lucy's case had been special, as she had been able to reunite with her deceased _family_ 's souls in the afterworld. She, the Lucy that had seen war and desolation again and again, had never been able to find peace again. The flow of life rejected her; but it was the curse she had asked for, after all.

She couldn't blame Zeref now, could she _ **?**_

* * *

 _ **W**_ hen Lucy opened her eyes again, she had to blink multiple times to finally see. The room she was in wasn't that dark, but just seconds ago, she had been staring at a bright light. What had happened in between?

She got up from the laid down position she was in, looking around in wonder. Where was she? She looked down at her hands. They suddenly seemed smaller than before... And her clothes looked like her old ones. Lucy gasped; her keys! Hurriedly, she searched for them, quickly finding them at her belt. Aquarius, Taurus, Cancer, Crux, Horologium, Lyra and... Where were the others?

Lucy got up and searched around, maybe they had fallen off or... Wait. Smaller hands, old clothes and lost keys? Wasn't it like Zeref hadsaid? Wasn't it... _time travel_?

Lucy's breath was cut short.

"Yes," she whispered to herself. "Yes. Yes, yes, yes, _**yes!**_ " She smiled to herself, joy bubbling up inside her body. "YES! _It worked_!"

There was a beat of silence, as Lucy's vision began clouding – tears of relief filling the borders of her eyes.

A knock resonated at the door. "Miss Lucy?" a muffled voice asked. "Are you alright? We heard shouting."

Lucy panicked, but didn't let it show in her voice. "Ah sorry about that, I'm alright, don't worry," she said, as loudly as she could. She was startled by her own meek voice, and she grasped her throat in surprise. It felt as if she had breathed in helium.

She was sure the person had said something again, but she wasn't listening anymore. Instead, she was thinking about what had just happened, what was to happen and what she was supposed to do.

Lucy had to save them – she had to save him, she had promised, after all. What kind of person would she be to forget that _ **?**_


	3. Chapter 3: strongmind

Hello everyone. Nice to see you once again! :)

How are you doing? I hope you're fine, because I'm fine myself (even if a little stressed out; but I'm always stressed out).

Lucy is a smart, strong woman. She acts a little too 'girly' for me, but otherwise I like her. (I don't like the word girly. It feels like I'm saying that every girl should be like that, and it feels like I'm saying that boys and girls are different – I'm not talking about the physical side.) Natsu is so hard to write. I don't want to look like an idiot, but I don't want him to look too smart. I'll just settle to dense, I guess. I hate how most people portray Happy, as if he's just… some random cat who's completely useless (and clueless). He has the same intelligence as any other (relatively stupid) human; please respect that.

I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I hope you will enjoy this chapter!

* * *

time-loop. / time-travel. / reincarnation.

* * *

 **Papermind**

* * *

 **Chapter three:  
strongmind**

* * *

"Oh, Natsu! Gray!" Loki calls from where he is flirting. The two boys stop fighting to look at him, their fists frozen in the movements of hitting each other. "Erza's back!" he warns, and suddenly remembering the last time he tried flirting with the red-headed woman, pales and flees, the two love struck girls following him closely.

"Aargh!" Natsu lets go of Gray's arm, and jumps away from him, trying to hide behind Lucy's back. Gray, knowing that Natsu won't share his hiding spot – even more true now that Lucy is his partner – jumps to the barstool, and pretends talking to Mirajane. It truly is an amazing sight, and it would be credible if it wasn't for the ice and the burned wood.

Lucy sighs, a fond smile forming upon her features as she sits down. Natsu follows her, glancing around nervously; he sits next to her. "What are you worried about?" Happy flows to them, nibbling on a fish. "Do you know what got him like that, Happy?" Lucy asks.

Natsu glances up, just in time to see a strange expression on his friend's face. He tilts his head, trying to get a better look, but it already has disappeared. Lucy just blinks at him in question. He almost frowns, frustrated that she would hide something from him – but he guesses that everyone has their own worries.

"Aye," Happy finally answers, licking away the last of bits of the fish, "It's because Erza's coming back." Lucy hands him a tissue to wipe his paws, but he prefers licking them—Lucy sweat drops, not only at his words, but also at his actions.

Before Lucy can say anything, the guild's large door slams open. All of the mages glance up. A woman stands there, her long red hair flowing to the wind, her hands holding a gigantic horn, above her head. She walks forward, not caring about the whispers breaking out behind her.

"I'm back," she simply says, and turns to Mirajane. "Is Master present at the moment?"

Mirajane answers; and Natsu is pretty sure a conversation begins on the matter of the horn, but he doesn't listen—he stares at Lucy. His partner is looking at Erza; once again, that strange expression has come back, making her lips drop and her eyes water.

Lucy… Lucy looks as if she's about to cry, Natsu realizes.

"Lucy?" he calls quietly, but it sounds so loud to him, he almost becomes self-conscious. She turns to him, her eyes still dazed, and it takes her a moment to blink it out. "Lucy?" he calls again when she doesn't answer. She offers him a weak smile, and turns around to look at Erza. Natsu openly frowns in worry, but doesn't comment – for now, at least.

"Where are Natsu and Gray?" Erza asks, dragging Natsu out of his thoughts, and making him shiver and hide behind Lucy again.

"Here," Happy says, pointing to him. Natsu freezes in fear as Erza's gaze falls on him, afraid she knows that he was fighting with Gray just before she arrived… she only nods in greeting though, and looks at Gray, speaking of something to him.

Natsu lets out a sigh of relief, and perks up when he hears Lucy's laugh. "What is it?" he asks. She gives a few last giggles, and shakes her head fondly. Before anything can be said, Erza interrupts.

"Gray, Natsu," she calls, her voice serious. "I need your help."

* * *

Erza looks around, allowing a small smile on her face when she catches sight of bright pink hair. She drags her baggage behind her, reaching her teammates – her friends – in no time. "Hello, Natsu, Gray, Happy, Lucy," she greets, the names rolling off her tongue easily – even though she hesitates when saying Lucy's name.

"Oh! Hello Erza." Lucy is the only one to answer, the other two boys shivering next to each other—for a reason Erza doesn't understand, their arms are locked around each other's neck, and they have awkward smiles on their faces. "That's a lot of baggage." Lucy's comment brings her back to reality, and Erza nods.

Before anyone can add anything, the train arrives. Immediately, Natsu blanches. He turns to Erza, sweat already rolling down his back. "H-hey Erza, how about we go there by foot?" he hesitantly asks.

She frowns. Maybe she will have to knock him out again. "No. It will take too long," she says.

Strangely – for her, at least – he doesn't try to run away. Instead, he turns to Lucy and mumbles something under his breath that only Lucy can hear. She smiles reassuringly at him. "Of course," she says. She takes Natsu's hand, and drags him into the train. Erza, Gray and Happy follow.

They sit down at a random booth. As soon as the train starts, Natsu does the unexpected—he lays his head in Lucy's lap, and she begins to thread her fingers through his hair. Erza can feel her eyes bulging out. Natsu would never do that willingly – something about pride and honor – and Erza always has to force him to do it, and yet—and yet…

Erza sends a questioning look at Gray, who looks as shocked – if not more – as her. He shakes his head silently; he doesn't know either. She then looks at Happy, who is cooing over the "couple." He notices her stare, and, after a light shiver, flies to her lap. "What is it?" he asks. Lucy glances up, but doesn't say anything and returns to playing with Natsu's hair. Once Erza is sure she isn't listening to them, she turns to Happy.

"Why is Natsu so…" she frowns and searches for the right word, "affectionate?" It isn't exactly what she was hoping for, but it will do.

Happy shrugs. "What do you mean?" He looks at her with big wide eyes, looking like an innocent child.

"Natsu's head is in Lucy's lap," Gray pipes up from her side. He still looks faintly shocked. "His _head_ in her _lap_ ," he insists. Erza nods along with his words, looking at Happy.

"Oh!" Realization dawns on Happy's face. "You didn't know? Natsu, Lucy and I are a team!' he exclaims happily. "And, Natsu feels better when his head's in Lucy's lap!" He doesn't wait for a reply, and flies to Natsu and Lucy, snuggling between Lucy and Natsu, smiling and purring and happy.

Erza doesn't really understand Happy's words, but still—she smiles, happy at seeing her friends' smiles.

(She just met this woman, Lucy, and she doesn't really know her; but she guesses that if she can make them happy, it'll be alright.)

* * *

 **I** n her second life, Lucy had immediately said the whole truth to Makarov. Miraculously, he had believed her, given her his trust, and helped her through her quest.

She had failed—a horrible, painful fail.

In her third life, she had waited a little, waiting for her friends to really be her _friends_ , and then telling them everything. Once again, they had believed her, helped her. She had been so happy, and yet, so sad, so desperate; she had failed to see their worried eyes and confused smiles.

Lucy had failed.

In her fourth life, she had been tired, even more desperate. She had tried to avoid them, thinking that maybe it was her that was bringing all that pain on them. She had been so wrong—so, so wrong.

She had failed, but this time, it was worse than before. Fairy Tail, her dear _family_ had been brought to its knees, and decapitated before it could fight back. (She could still see their lifeless bodies and accusing eyes—when they still had eyes.)

In her fifth life, she had joined another guild. She hadn't told them anything, and hadn't really been able to blend in and make friends. They weren't her _family_ , they weren't Fairy Tail; they weren't Natsu, they weren't Gray, they weren't Erza, they weren't Happy, they weren't Mirajane, they weren't—

She had failed.

In her sixth life, she had joined Fairy Tail earlier, becoming Natsu and Happy's teammates earlier, and creating the Team Natsu – or Team Lucy in that case – with her own hands. They had become so close, more than just friends – siblings – and Natsu—Natsu… had become her lover; and she loved him so much – had loved him before her first life's end, had ended her own life, been cursed by Zeref, just for him; and she would do it again and again until he was safe—the pain didn't matter.

Yes. The pain didn't matter.

She failed.

Failed.

Again.

Again.

Again.

She lost count of how many lives, how many deaths, how many Natsu, how many Erza, how many Gray, how many Happy, how many Wendy, how many Gajeel, how many Levy, how many Makarov, how many Fairy Tail she had known.

And for the first time in forever, she wished for the end.

It was the first time she ever committed suicide **.**

* * *

 **L** ucy forced her lungs to work, taking a deep breath in. She moved her head to the side. Her blonde hair, now grim and bloody, fell from her shoulder. "Natsu," she called. She couldn't see him, but she could feel his warmth, she could hear his berated breath. "Natsu," she called again, desperately hoping that he wasn't about to let his consciousness go.

She heard a small shift, and tried to force her neck further to the right. She caught a glimpse of pink – she didn't know if it was Natsu's hair or just blood. "Lucy." She let out a breath of relief at the sound of his voice. It was weak, but it was better than nothing.

"How…" She closed her eyes. Not a good question. She hesitated. "I love you." There wasn't any reply. She opened her eyes, and forced her neck again. "I love you. I'm sorry I wasn't able to save you." She was finally able to see his face. It was dirty, bloody, but his eyes—he was looking at her with such fierceness, such warmth, such love—she felt her breath stop for half a second.

He blinked slowly, before reaching a weak hand at her face. "It's not your fault Lucy," he simply said, brushing the painful tears rolling down her cheeks. "It's not your fault."

"Of course it is," she insisted. She would have frowned, but right now, she felt like her face was frozen. "If I had told you sooner, then maybe it wouldn't have happened like that. I should have known better. I should have—"

"Stop it, Luce." She stopped, trying to ignore the burning in her eyes. She swallowed, her teeth gritting as she kept from sobbing. "It's not your fault." He forced his weak body to crawl toward hers. Miraculously, he succeeded in doing so, and hugged her as close as he could – which wasn't much. He closed his eyes, caressing her blonde hair as she sobbed in his chest. "I love you, Luce." He caught her eyes, and bent his neck to kiss her—it wasn't much, but they could feel each other's love for the other.

It was the end; it was their end, together _ **.**_


End file.
